NEWS FLASH: Rebelution leaders meet in Michigan
Lansing, MI -- Sources have confirmed a meeting in southern Michigan between two national leaders of the Rebelution — a worldwide movement of Christian young people rebelling against what they call "the low expectations of an ungodly culture."
The two young ladies, Kristin (a.k.a. Spunky Jr.) and Hannah, were identified by a reporter who first discovered the meeting after making his way through a series of puzzling riddles.
"I was confused at first," admitted the reporter. "I couldn't figure out whether 'near' meant 'adjacent' or 'nearby'. But then the pieces started coming together."
Kristin and Hannah are two of the three co-authors of Beauty from the Heart, a rebelutionary blog targeted at Christian young women. Kristin makes her home in Michigan. Hannah is from Texas.
The third co-author, Lindsey of Northern California, was not present. Her exact whereabouts are currently unknown.
A growing movement, a growing concern
The meeting today was only the latest in a series of high-profile "get togethers" between members of the Rebelution that are causing a stir among secular analysts.
Last year The National Scoop exposed a late night meeting between Rebelution leaders Tim Sweetman (a.k.a. Agent Tim) and Alex and Brett Harris. The three were spotted at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant in downtown Washington, DC.
Now sources are reporting additional gatherings across the United States, including a convention of nearly 500 rebelutionaries in Sacramento on March 11. The sources confirmed that Lindsey of Beauty from the Heart was present at the convention.
A National Scoop reporter who gained access to a top secret map of rebelutionaries reported that it included young adults from around across the United States, in the Phillipines, Australia, Europe, Canada, Africa, and South America.
"These Christian kids think they can be mature and responsible," exclaimed a greatly concerned Wurld Lee Kulture. "Worse, they're starting to network and create a counter-culture. It threatens to ruin everything I've worked for!"